Displaced Stay At Home Californian in rural N. Carolina

The Many Faces of Joy

The Many Faces of Joy

Thursday, January 20, 2011

False Advertising

I recently logged into a website for an organization I belong to and saw a picture of a person who belongs to the group that I didn't recognize. This is a pretty small group of people so I had to double click on the picture to see who this person was. It turns out that this person chose to post a picture of themselves 10 years and 40 pounds ago. (at least) I found it interesting that this person chose to post a picture that did not accurately represent themselves.

I did this Internet dating thing about 10 years ago as a gag. I say I did it as a gag because I had recently gotten out of a relationship and I was unemployed for a year and independently wealthy at the time and wanted something fun to do with my time. I never once considered it a serious way to meet someone because I always figured I would meet someone on my own merit instead of using the Internet to find someone. I have since then come to accept that there are many women that meet men on the internet and many men that meet women on the internet and marry or cohabitate with the intent of staying together for a lifetime or at least for a while.

I met a lot of men. I went on a lot of dates. I had a ton of fun. Some of the guys were nice and some were smart and some were nice and smart. Some were strange and some were not my cup of tea and some were not my favorite. The reoccurring theme with these guys was that they preferred to leave out the things about them that might turn people off, such as: One guy was missing most of his front teeth. His explanation for not smiling in his profile picture or for not telling me was "most of them are coming out, so I thought I'd wait until they all come out before I get false teeth". Another guy described himself as being 10 years younger and when I called him on it, he said, "if I'd told you I was 55, you might not have met me for a drink." (note to the reader, I was 32 at the time). One guy told me he was into weight lifting and it turned out his neck was bigger than my thighs. He actually said to me as we were eating lunch "I will not date a woman with an ass bigger than mine" and his ass was HUGE. I'm pretty sure he was married too because of some obvious indentation in his ring finger and a strong tan line there as well. Another guy told me he was medium build (this one was the most popular description for the size of a person) and we had to take the bus because he couldn't fit in my Ford Festiva. He was huge too but not in a bodybuilding sort of way, it was more of a fat sort of way. I tried really hard to be open minded with all of these guys, after all, I was single and they were single (as far as I knew), there was going to be a learning curve.

The one that ended my Internet dating detour was the guy that told me his wife had recently passed away from Lung Cancer and that he was very nervous as this was his first date after her passing. After holding Larry's hand and telling Larry that everything was going to be alright and that there were grief counselors to help him cope and letting him walk me to the bus after a drink and some good conversation, I got an email later that night from Larry with a shocking twist. It turns out his wife was dying of cancer and he had decided that while she was dying it was time for him to find someone to meet his physical needs and so he had lied not only about his age but also about his marital status and while they didn't know exactly when she would die, would I still consider dating him because I was a cutie pie and not someone he wanted to pass on. I think I left the country shortly after that email, conveniently.

Cheater? Liar? False Advertising? Is it ok to bend the truth a little? Is it ok to bend it a lot? Who draws the line and where? You decide.

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