I swore I would not turn this into a weight loss blog but I do have to announce that this week I bought my first pair of size 10 jeans in a looooooooooong time. In order to ensure that I could indeed fit into a pair of size 10 pants, I tried on about 20 pairs and only 2 or 3 didn't fit. Based on my kind of math, that means I am now wearing size 10 pants all around.
As I paid for them I thought about how I've been here before, the process of shedding weight and buying smaller clothes and wondered why I was here again. Was it because I had been forced to go to a weight watchers class and run laps with my Mom when I was 13? Was it because I wanted to keep up with my brother and sister in all things including how much they ate? Was it because my high school religion teacher told me that boys would only want to be my friend because teenagers didn't date fat chicks?
Whatever the reason or reasons, I am here again and I don't like it. The first time I downsized I was 19 and quite honestly I just wanted a boy to ask me on a date and try to paw at me. I was tired of being the funny, chubby girl who hung out and listened to all her friends talk about all the boys they were going on dates with and having to fight them off at the movie theater.
The next time I found myself shrinking was when I was 32 and recently single. Nothing spurs weight loss like being single and wanting to date again. There were also these 4 weeks in Peru that left me with a little bug of some sort that caused me to shed weight at an alarming rate. Once I got back I got some medicine that helped me shed the parasite and helped me feel much better and the end result was a substantial weight loss.
Here I am once again and this time I am having to do it the honest way - no substance abuse, no exercise addictions, no parasites and no skinny pills. I gotta get out of this rut I'm stuck in and do this right.