Displaced Stay At Home Californian in rural N. Carolina

The Many Faces of Joy

The Many Faces of Joy

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Bathing Suits

One of the things that accompanies having children and getting old is the betrayal of a woman's body. I remember thinking that things weren't too bad after one child and that as long as I kept active and ate healthy things like salad, (all the time) I would be back to pre-baby weight and tip top shape in no time at all. For those of you out there with children, you know this will never happen. You can get back to the pre-baby weight but the bits are never the same. That is to say that nothing will ever look like it used to before it all got stretched out and swollen and then you let the air out.

Combine this with the need to find a good bathing suit for a family vacation that involves lots of swimming and water and chasing kids and hot weather. Keep in mind that the swimming I am doing includes one child holding on to my back and another gripping my arm and so the bathing suit has to withstand being tugged at, held onto by little fingers and all the wrestling, grabbing, tricks and handstands that will take place in the pool. The suit doesn't have to be pretty but it does have to stay on. And it doesn't have to fit like a glove but if it is loose in the wrong places I could end up with embarrassing slippage even though we will just be hanging out with family, there are things that even family members shouldn't have to see.

Next is finding the places where bathing suits do not cost a fortune. Gone are the days when I can throw down big dollars on material the size of a postage stamp and feel good about the hours I will spend at the beach. I remember the most expensive bathing suit I ever bought and I remember being scared to pay that much money for just a bathing suit - I think it cost $120 dollars. And just for the record, I kept that bathing suit for 8 years or something like that because I had spent so much money on it, I couldn't bear to part with it. And when I got tired of it after 8 years I believe I gave it to my friend Julie and she took the remaining elastic out of it.

After losing 20 pounds I definitely want to splurge on a 2 piece bathing suit, who wouldn't? I remember once saying I would NEVER wear a one piece bathing suit EVER. But after trying on 20 to 30 bathing suits in the last month I have compiled the following research data:

1) If it rolls down when you sit down, you shouldn't buy it
2) If it rolls up when you sit down, you shouldn't buy it
3) If it has buckles, ties, belts, straps in areas that require adjusting, you shouldn't buy it
4) If it takes longer than 10 seconds to put on or take off, you shouldn't buy it
5) If you see girls in their 20's or younger perusing the racks, walk away

And remember, buying a cute hat, trendy flip flops, a sassy cover up and a hot beach tote bag can minimize the boring and sensible, black, one piece, 20 dollar, bathing suit.

Happy Summer everyone!

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