I was talking to my Mom last night and complaining about my brother. She tried to make very non partisan comments for a few minutes and then she tried to shush me and then she resorted to ignoring me. I got really hot at her response and so I went upstairs and complained to my husband. He listened to me, validated me and consoled me and then agreed with me. He did all the things that make him both the most perfect husband in the world and the smartest man in the world ever!
I settle disputes between my kids all the time. I listen to them complain about each other too. "I wanted to play with that Polly Pocket" or "I was going to play with that first" or "stop touching me" or "she is ignoring me right now" and I think I do a pretty good job of either resolving their issues or getting them to redirect their energies into something more productive. But I will admit that there are times I want to scream, pull my hair out, hide in the shoe closet or get in the car and drive far far away.
I wonder if there will come a day when my kids will come to me as adults and complain about each other or if they will work hard at resolving these issues between themselves. I don't usually complain to my mother about my siblings because I see her so infrequently and get to spend so little time with her I hate to waste my energy and precious time on something so trivial. And I figure that if I can't resolve the issue with my brother, what will my mother do?
I can't say exactly what my response will be when that time comes. I can say that I fancy myself a good communicator and have had a myriad of jobs that utilize my good communication skills. I have only met a few people in my life that stump me when it comes to getting a point across, one was an ex roommate named Star, one was my sister's ex-husband Norman and to be perfectly honest sometimes talking to them was like speaking Chinese to a German and vice-versa.
I do know that regardless as to the subject of my kids disagreement I will love them and hopefully support them until the hair pulling is over. And if not, I hope they have fantastic partners that listen, validate, console and agree with them.