Displaced Stay At Home Californian in rural N. Carolina

The Many Faces of Joy

The Many Faces of Joy

Friday, November 9, 2012


There is nothing I hate more than change.  I hate the way the leaves change color and fall off the trees.  I hate when you wake up one morning and realize you need a second blanket on the bed.  I whole heartedly dislike when I discover one of the girls has outgrown their clothes and I need to get something larger.  I especially dislike when it happens to me.  And I really get irritated when something in the refrigerator has gone past its due date and I realize it has spoiled without my knowing it and now I have to throw away the one I bought and buy another one.  (I guess that one just means I'm cheap).

We've had some changes lately.  The first is that my husband has been traveling a little bit and that has left me in charge.  I hate when he is gone.  I don't sleep well.  The girls don't sleep well.  The animals don't sleep well.  We try to put on a brave face but it fails miserably.  I get tired, irritated, grumpy, strung out and snappy and it is all I can do to keep things on track.

I have anxiety issues.  That means when there is a lot of change I have an increase in my anxiety levels and I sometimes will have to use my superpowers to override a panic attack here or there.  I only recently discovered that I had anxiety issues - within the last 4 years - so this is a fairly new thing.  Since I'm in charge of 2 kids and 2 pets and 1 husband and not allowed to get stoned all day to mellow out, I have had to learn how to handle these attacks through the following:

1) breathing
2) mantras
3) meditation
4) yoga
5) exercise
6) therapy
7) time out

Another thing that is happening right now is that we are talking about a move.  A big one.  That is all I'm gonna say right now but it will involve a lot of changes, big changes.  I'm sort of freaking out - inside and not outside - at least not yet. I'm saving the real freak outs for later.

So far I'm doing pretty good.  I am pretty darn close to a super hero as far as I'm concerned.  But I do have to have things well organized and consistent and planned out and that doesn't always work with kids and life and pets and husband.  So I do have to dig deep once in awhile and get creative.  Life doesn't stop for me to get used to changes just like I don't stop and lay down and play dead so bring it!  Sometimes even I like to see what I'm made of.

1 comment:

Lauren said...

Oh Joy, hang in there and I will buy you a beer at Christmastime. Don't move before then!