Displaced Stay At Home Californian in rural N. Carolina

The Many Faces of Joy

The Many Faces of Joy

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Goodie Bag

I have been wanting to write something for several days now but all my time seems to be sucked up by this upcoming move.  I will work feverishly for 2 or 3 hours and realize that I've done pretty much nothing.  I also stress out over the weirdest things which I'm not going to post because too many relatives read this and I don't want to freak them out.  But suffice it to say that I actually had a panic attack driving the car to pick up a kid from piano lessons and it actually took me about 2 or 3 minutes to realize I was having a panic attack and not a heart attack.  I didn't pull over of course because 1) the panic attack never wins and 2) I was too busy to pull over and 3) I live in Cupertino (still) and most people drive muy loca here so no one noticed.

I hate the Goodie Bag.  H.A.T.E.  I hate all the little pieces and plastic crap that goes into them.  I hate the paper or plastic bag that the small pieces go into.  I hate the pencil toppers, note books, whistles, slinkies, candy, balloons, erasers, squinkies, rings, blowpops, twizzlers, pez dispensers, hair clippies and all the other stuff that comes along with the Goodie Bag.  I hate that there is pressure to put together a goodie bag so that you get one at the end of a party.  I hate that each kid expects the goodie bag so that if you decide not to make one they are crushed on the way out of your party.  What ever happened to just being happy for the kid who has a birthday?  It is their special day and not yours, get over it.

I can say that there are a few very small exceptions to the Goodie Bag that I will allow.  One party we took home these fabric bags with velcro on them that we later used for sandwich bags that we wash and re-use, they seemed very eco friendly and earth sound.  One party we threw each child made bracelets and necklaces as a craft and so they each took home their own jewelry they had made.  And finally I went to a birthday party where we took a book and exchanged it for another so every child brought a book and every child took home a book.  It seemed so wonderful and educational and forward in the parents thinking.  After all, who has a child without any toys?  Please raise your hand if you do and I will personally take your child to the Goodie Bag store and buy them a bag full of plastic, small, vaccum cleaner breaking stuff that you can take home and then strew all over the floor and leave for your mother to step on. 

It is my mission to eradicate the Goodie Bag all together.  Remember that book by Al Franken where he ran for President and his platform was to stop ATM's from charging a withdrawal fee?  Well my platform is to eradicate Goodie Bags from the face of all parties.  Unfortunately I'm going to have to start in N. Carolina since I'm moving in a week.  More panic.

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