There is a saying that goes like this, "No news is good news" but in our case sometimes no news means that you live across the country and no one thought to tell your or figured you cared or they got busy and didn't call or it just slipped their mind.
Whatever the case - my Mom called me last night and happened to mention that one of my uncles had passed away. It was sad and made me feel really far away. But the saddest part was that he had passed away more than a week ago and the funeral had already happened and I had heard nothing. Not a single peep. Not a whisper. Not an email. Not a text. Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch.
I used to wonder how it felt for my sister who is incarcerated and cannot come out to go to weddings and funerals and has to pass all these milestones in a very long time out situation but it turns out that moving 3,000 miles away can also put you in a very long and far time out.
Do I think I would have found out if I was still living in California? I am not sure, I can't really say because something big has happened to my family and it has splintered us apart irreparably I fear. I'm not sure what exactly it is but I know it has forever changed the dynamic of our extended family.
I didn't know a whole bunch about my uncle, I knew he was born in North Korea and that his family was splintered when the countries separated and he went to the south and many of his family were forced to stay in the North. I know he was granted a visa in the last 10 years to go and visit his family that remained and say hellos and goodbyes. I know he smiled often and laughed often and always had a hug. I know he has fabulous children and many wonderful grandchildren. I wish him speedy travels to wherever he is headed and I know that wherever he lands they will be richer for having spent time in his company.
That having been said, I certainly feel badly for my cousins and my
aunt. And I hope that they are surrounded by light and love and people
who can care for them. Bon Voyage Uncle Jonathan.