Displaced Stay At Home Californian in rural N. Carolina

The Many Faces of Joy

The Many Faces of Joy

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


There is something that happens to a woman who has had some children and has reached middle age - we become somewhat invisible.  By invisible I mean that no one looks at our legs or asses as we walk by.  No one whistles.  No one hits on us.  No one flirts.  So when it happens that a man I don't know strikes up a conversation with me or compliments me out of the blue I am always surprised he isn't asking for loose change or for directions. It never occurs to me that it is because he finds me attractive or even ravishing.  I usually attribute it to something is going wrong.  Or maybe I'm wearing my doughnut shirt and he thought it funny.  Except today I didn't have my doughnut shirt on.

There is a store near here called Harris Teeter.  It took me a while to say that without giggling because for a grocery store it sounds kind of dirty.  Say it out loud.  See what I mean?  Anyway - at Harris Teeter for some reason I have been hit on by men 3 separate times in a year.  Strange men, unknown men, middle aged (50 to 60 year old) men.  Yes, I am pushing middle age back.

At first I thought maybe it was because there are only 3 Asian people that shop there and so I'm something like an albino tiger but whatever the case, I love it, as would any other woman in her mid 40's!  I would do all my shopping there except it is frightfully expensive.  So ladies, - if you are feeling frumpy and a little run down, or the color has come out of your hair or you have had on your stretchy pants now for 2 weeks, head on down to Harris Teeter - you'll have them humping your leg too!

New Job

I am heading to work next week!  After 10 years, lots of volunteering, lot of blogging, lots of cooking meals, lots of cleaning house, lots of dog walking, lots of babysitting, lots of talking about going back to lunch I am finally heading out the door, dropping my kids at before school care and getting on the freeway and walking into an office somewhere to do work which I will be paid for.  I am so excited.

First of all, I'm excited to have a job.  It sounds like something that is well suited to me and something that I know a lot about and something I will get to use my language skills at and that makes me happy.  This will only be the second thing in 10 years that I'm doing that is just mine and not my husband's or my kid's.  It is just mine.

Secondly, I have had a chance to invest in some new work clothes.  About 5 years ago, I finally threw away the last suit jacket that I'd hung on to thinking at some point I would go back to work.  But when I tried it on I realized that it was so out of style that I would never be wearing it again.  So buying slacks, trousers, dress shirts and even a pair of heels or two has been so enjoyable.  And trying them on and modeling them for the girls has been super fun, "Oh Mommy, you are so fancy!" is my favorite comment so far."  I have promised several times to save the new shoes for the kids to wear someday.

Lastly, I am going to get a paycheck.  I have done tons of volunteer work in the last 10 years but none of it has come with a paycheck.   The thought that I will be contributing to my family financially makes me want to jump for joy!

Of course there are things that make me a little nervous.  For example my children will be going to not only before school care on the days I work, they will also be going to after school care.  And regardless as to what other people think about daycare or babysitters or nanny's, I was not able to put either of my children in any of them, I had to care for them myself.   I also am going to have quite a lengthy commute having tested the drive twice to see how long it will take and how to avoid traffic jams and accidents and gauge the flow of traffic in the morning rush hour traffic, but nonetheless there will be a long haul in the car.

But weighing all the good stuff and all the bad stuff, I am joyfully going to be headed out the door to work on Monday and cannot wait!  Stay tuned for updates!

Monday, October 6, 2014


I have not been writing much lately.  I have not been inspired.  And I have not had the internet connection to support a new blog post.  Outrageous I know but that is just how it goes.  So today I've had to head on down to the local Pittsboro Library and I'm taking up space at one of the computer tables and banging out a few blog posts to update my faithful readers (GABE) on what has been going on in Joy-land.

I am working on getting a job and have had a solid phone and in person interview.  I've also decided to head back into the classroom and applied to be a substitute teacher at the girls school, but while all that is clicking into place I find myself losing interest in this blog and in writing in general.

We have had interesting and fun stuff going on - I just haven't felt like chronicling it.  We got a new puppy by the name of Ivy which we quickly changed to Buzz Aldrin McKeon and she is a handful.  She is one of those puppies that wants to go out to pee 4 times a night and as soon as you take her out to pee and let her back in she pees on the floor.

And the girls are playing soccer this fall which is a first.  It is fun to go and watch their games and I love watching them learn new things.   And i get to go with them and chat up everyone at the game which is my favorite thing to do.  They exercise their legs, I exercise my mouth.  Let me just clarify - I don't need soccer to exercise my mouth, I can do that anywhere/anytime.


There are a couple of things that I do when Fall rolls around and one is that I start reading like a mad woman.  I can put away 3 or 4 books a week if I really put my mind to it.  The other thing I do is I start knitting.  And I also get a good, solid head cold.  So today I find myself at home, making minestrone for dinner, reading and knitting at the same time, sniffling and trying to listen to Diane Rehm.  If you don't know who she is, you are missing out.

I love fall in N. Carolina.  I never thought I would say that but it is beautiful here.  And it is sunny and cool and the kids can finally play outside without dying of heatstroke and I can walk without collapsing.  And the leaves are now just starting to change color and everyone has their mums on their doorsteps along with their pumpkins and Halloween decorations and thanksgiving themed windsocks.  (let me just clarify, I will never have a windsock)

And I've applied for several jobs and had a great interview and hopefully soon I'll be headed out to work.  But in the meantime I will be reading, knitting, sniffling and making great soup.